Nichol(s) Slots

Welcome again to the Fabulously Fabulous Five Cent Hotel and Casino (there’s really no hotel here). We play Nichol(s) slots here and there’s a chance you might get to hear Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga’s duet of Lady is a Tramp.

We’re through two weeks of football, a whole season of Madden (may be?), 150 games of baseball and with Chicago baseball.

Sounds like a pretty good September to me.

Speaking of September, today is the 21st – Do you remember the 21st night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders while chasing the clouds away…

So with that theme in mind,

Here are the Five things I loved this past week…

1. The Charlie Sheen roast on Comedy Central was possibly the best roast I’ve seen. Things that were out of bounds were in and Steve-O ended up with a broken nose. How great is that? Patrice O’Neal got slayed a lot. Mike Tyson was actually funny (I think his poetry was great, haha) and everything was entirely true about Sheen. The deep-fried finger joke about O’Neal really made me chuckle. Who was that no-name blonde? I can’t remember her name but she was great.

2. One-hand catches. Vincent Jackson and Tony Gonzalez had some of the best grabs of the year on Sunday. Jackson’s catch came with what looked to be triple coverage almost and Gonzalez was falling out-of-bounds and barely managed to get both feet down. The college kids need to go to the two-feet rule.

3. Bills, Bills, Bills. Who the hell are the Buffalo Bills? Well, Ryan Fitzpatrick and company are 2-0 and have the Patriots this Sunday and I’ll be rooting for Bill to upset Patriot. And if the game is anything like the winner in Buffalo last week against Oakland, Brady and Fitz are going reset some records.

4. Miami over Ohio State. No explanation needed. O-H?

5. I guess I might be the only person who actually thinks the new Marlins logo that was leaked today was actually cool. Michael Jordan thought the Air Jordan I was hideous. Let it grow on you.

5A. Tony Bennett and Lady GaGa’s duet of “Lady is a Tramp” is one of the best duets I’ve ever heard. I didn’t even believe it at first it was GaGa. Click here to listen.

5B. Metta World Peace(d) out of Dancing With the Stars. Luckily, I didn’t have to watch it.

Five things I hated… 

1. Cowboys’ comeback in OT against the Niners. Dallas isn’t America’s team, America. Nor do we like Tony Romo, Jerry Jones or the Cowboys franchise when they win. Or when they lose. I’d prefer them to go back to their 2010 ways. I’ll give Romo a bone for his guts, though. Too soon?

2. Aramis Ramirez told reporters in Chicago he’s probably played his last game as a Cub at Wrigley Field. If I’m the Cubs that’s unacceptable. Ramirez is going to be missed dearly if he’s gone for 2012. I’m not sure you can find anybody on the open market next year that will play third base as well as Ramirez offensively and defensively has for the Cubs. I know he’s 34, he lacks hustle sometimes but if all that power leaves town, trust me, unless the Cubs gain some third baseman through trade or this Josh Vitters kid is the real deal, they should just put a For Sale sign at third base next year.

3. Mike Tolbert’s fumble absolutely pissed me off. It was indeed the turning point in the game against New England and the Pats scored 7 on that turnover. If Tolbert runs straight through, he’s fine. Charger probably ties the game and Philip Rivers gets me more fantasy points. True, the Chargers were awful all game in the red zone but Tolbert screwed up pretty bad. Charger loses, I lose. That’s not good for business. That’s not good for anybody.

Tolbert will bounce back next week.

4. Howard Schlossberg’s New York Football Giants think it’s cool to fake injuries. Then again, we in Chicago hate when you don’t play through injuries. Let’s just play football, boys. I had a joke here for Howard but he was around to see the ’85 Bears. Howard was also around to see the comet that took out the Dinosaurs. Heh, heh. Schlossbergasorous Rex!

4B. But really, c’mon Giants!

5. LeBron has a new McDonald’s ad coming out and it’s supposed to make him look humbled or something with the tie-in between his chances at a title and the Monopoly game promotion. Rumor has it there are four collectible LeBron pieces in the promotion this year yet McDonald’s is reporting they can’t find the fourth piece on any of its fry boxes or hash browns. Go figure.

Five things I dread…

1. I wanted to spend some time on the future of the NCAA and its super conferences but I decided that wasn’t the smartest things to dread. So it’s either the Zombie Apocalypse or Barack Obama’s re-election in 2012.

2. Aramis Ramirez leaving the Cubs. See above.

3. Other than Irish fans, who really wants to see Notre Dame win more than 2 games? Is it just me or did anyone have any pleasure in Michigan scoring at the end of that game two weekends ago? Or South Florida winning in South Bend? That’s a Notre Dame I like. It’s too bad Sparty had to drop one to them on Saturday. Poor Sparty.

4. The NBA lockout will take away the entire season.  I love basketball. I want to see Derrick Rose repeat his MVP season of a year ago. But that’s looking uncertain. Each day more guys look committed to playing overseas. When I see Kobe bolt, that’s when you’ll know for sure the NBA season is done. But it practically is already.

5. My fantasy team in one of my leagues (non-PPR) put up 127 points after a sub-par first week and I just so happened to run into a guy who went for 138 (projected 83). I was down 30 points going into SNF and Jeremy Maclin had a monster game – except for that dropped ball at the end. Mac got me 29 points, I fell a point short but I wouldn’t have won anyway because he had Josh Brown kicking on MNF. I was so hoping Brown would fumble.

Five Things I’d like to see…

1. Justin Verlander as AL MVP. He’s too good this year NOT to be AL MVP. The writers have to do it. They just have to.

2. Prince Fielder or Albert Pujols on the Cubs in 2012. OK, don’t get your hopes up. But just thinking about the fact of Albert or Prince destroying Wrigley Field is enough to believe.

3. Pacquiao vs. Mayweather. Please, boxing gods, if you’re listening, make this happen. I’ll be on Manny’s side. I hope he knocks Mayweather the F— out. And, I never did see that sucker punch by Floyd.

4. DeAngelo Hall literally go after Romo’s ribs. I’m not saying I want to see Romo get hurt. I am a human being and that wouldn’t be right. But the whole talk around it makes the game THAT MUCH more intriguing. Let’s see how Dallas’ O-line protects their quarterback.

It’ll probably be better than the Bears… that’s for damn sure.

5. If Romo actually faked an injury against the Redskins, I wouldn’t blame him. But if the Giants are going to continue doing so, lets see them do it against the Patriots no-huddle offense. I bet that works out amazing.

5B. Bears beat Packers. You see how low this is on the list? I’m not sure it can happen at all this season. That’s why it’s 5B.

5C. The new Tosh.0 I missed yesterday. If you have missed any of his shows, you’re missing out on good entertainment.

5D. A sports anchor job. C’mon news directors!

5E. And possibly a GMC Terrain. That’d be nice.

Five Things I’m Excited For

1. NBA 2K12 – There’s three separate covers featuring Larry Bird, Magic Johnson and Michael Jordan. I’ll be getting the MJ cover for sure but that Larry Legend cover is looking sweet.

2. iPhone 5. I’ve had an android since 2008 and I’m in love with it. My first was the G1. I now have the HTC Aria. But I need a new iPod and the iPhone allows me to avoid two purchases – a phone and an iPod. I know I can just put all my music on the droid as well but this iPhone from what I’ve heard and read is supposed to be kick ass. Just don’t tell that to this kid at the Best Buy in CL. He tried talking to me as if I was some dumb 24-year-old who didn’t know jack about the iPhone, its release dates, Apple’s mysterious ways and iCloud. I pretended as if I was stupid and ignorant. I did something he couldn’t do with me – sell him something.

3. Blackhawk hockey. It’s virtually here. I’m excited for the ’11-’12 season. I think the Blackhawks will take the division and return to at least the Western Conference Finals. I might even be more excited to see the “Car-bomb” Daniel Carcillo. Even my Dad, who loves hockey but isn’t in tune with the new school kids, wants to see Carcillo be a punk.

4. Chicago baseball to end. Gosh. The Cubs were just bad. The White Sox had a better record but a much horrible season than the Cubs. Adam Dunn fell into baseball’s black hole. Starlin Castro was a black hole during certain innings. Don’t use transitive theory on that one, that’d be ugly. I’m just glad it’s over and it’s going away until April 2012. Who wants to watch bad baseball every year? (Cubs fans?)

5. A sports anchor job. I’m still going for it. I’m not giving up. This industry is going to really have to do its best to keep me down and so far, it hasn’t. It won’t. This experience thing is really bugging the crap out of me. There’s nobody applying who has the love, desire, passion and drive for this business and I promise you all when it is all said and done, I’ll be at the top. And that goes for all of you looking for jobs as well. I have many colleagues and friends who are just as talented in their respective fields/majors and I root for them everyday. They need a shot like me to prove that we belong, that this experience factor is ridiculous and we’re not to be stopped in our efforts to be the best and push the bar up even higher.

Let’s employ some Americans. And give some chances to some kids who are desperate to work. Hey, what’s so bad about kids complaining about wanting to work?


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